Review: How To Love by Katie Cotungo

How To Love by Katie Cotungo

Balzer + Bray, 2013

Like many other reviewers have mentioned – this book confused me. I feel conflicted, because I’m rating it 5 stars – for sheer enjoyment (I read it in one sitting last night!), but I’m also not sure I like the message it sends.

How to Love has been on my TBR list since I read the synopsis in the Chapter’s New & Hot Teen Fic section.  I actually jumped up and down when my hold finally came in at work (it took forever). I’m a sucker for teenage pregnancy stories, but it should also be noted that I find them a bit of a double edged sword. It is so easy to judge other’s decisions. Being a birth mother myself, I have this weird thing where I hate reading/seeing fictional stories about adoption, but I also become seriously enraged when young/surprise pregnancy stories fail to mention adoption as even an option.  And then, there’s also that whole thing where seeing/reading young women successfully raise their children makes me feel a little sad and guilty, but that’s just life, and I try to push through It (my own story worked out the way it’s supposed to).

So Reena has grown up with Sawyer as friend of the family, secretly loving him from a young age. Because she has a hard time talking about her feelings, her best friend is even unaware of the extent of her massive crush on him. This leads to a relationship between the best friend and Sawyer, much to Reena’s shock. (Spoiler) stuff happens, and eventually Reena begins a rocky relationship with Sawyer, who certainly has some issues of his own.

I love drama – I hate admitting that. I mean, I don’t crave drama in my own personal life, I swear, but in books and TV, I love me some good dramz. This book had plenty of it. I was hooked on Cotungo’s Reena voice from the first page. I love that – when you start the first paragraph of a book, and you just keep going – and going, and going. There were no boring bits to wade through to get to the good stuff.

The book is written in this flip-back-and-forth-format – two storylines running simultaneously side by side – “Before” chapters follow “After” chapters. One is the story of how Reena falls in love and begins her tortured relationship with Sawyer, which obviously ends with her pregnancy and his mysterious departure. The “After” is the current day story that starts with his return to town after 3 years.

So in the beginning, you don’t know the whole story – you don’t know the details of Sawyer’s problems, why he left, what he did when he was away or how much contact he had with his family.  Before I knew all this, I was pissed. I couldn't understand why she was even giving him the time of day, let alone letting him take care of her kid. This is where I've seen some reviewers fault the book.  But I thought it was a good, slow reveal. I might just also be a sucker for a broken guy, but as the story went on, I could understand why she was in love with him. She didn't make great choices – in her past relationship with him, nor with his return home (she seemed to forgive him so, so, quickly), but she’s only human, and so was he. If you’re a shades-of-grey-thinker, you might agree. If you’re more of a grudge holder, black and white thinker, you might hate Sawyer or Reena, and thus, this book. I didn't though. I couldn't stop reading it. I think it wrapped up well – a little predictable (and quickly, if I’m to be honest). But I liked the ending. I like a happy ending.

As long as you’re reading the book with the understanding that not everyone makes the right decisions – I think it was a great read. And isn't that life, anyway? People make mistakes, they have weaknesses and soft spots.  Sometimes stories are just stories – not every story in life is meant to be modeled after. Also, I think, Reena did have some admirable qualities. She was a great mom, if not a little emotional, but one can understand such reactions given the situation. I was glad she (sort of spoiler) eventually stood up for herself in the end with the parents in the story. Her whole “Oh, poor me, I’m the whore of Babylon” shtick was getting old fast.

The book left me with a weird feeling a heartache – for the way the “before” timeline ended, when Reena was very alone and pregnant. But, knowing the current day Sawyer and then the ending, I was comforted. They’ll obviously have a lot to talk about in the future, but I was happy with the (again, somewhat predictable) ending.  It was what I was rooting for, by the time I fully understood Sawyer.

Also – no mention of adoption. Strange, considering how Catholic the families were. There is one conversation where her friend Shelby tells Reena  “you know, you don’t actually have to do this …” referring to the abortion option, but Reena’s response is about how it’s already changed her life and how she loves the baby, etc.  This response answered the question for me – clearly she was into raising the baby, but I wish Shelby would have just included like, even just the word, “adoption” in this options conversation. Reena’s response would have answered both suggestions well.

All in all, a great, quick read. I’m still trying to think of other perfect read-alikes. My first suggestion would be Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen – teen pregnancy, BFFs, bad-influence-boy intense romance. I’ll update later if I think of another one.